You smell like outside by Thalia Sablon

You smell like outside

by Thalia Sablon

You smell like outside.
My mom used to say this when I would come home after long days of running around, kicking dirt, and scraping knees.
You smell like outside
was always a beautiful phrase to me
it meant that I became apart of something for long enough that it linger and followed me to the place that holds cryptic shards of harsh memories.

You smell like outside,
I miss what that used to mean.
Now outside isn't full of trees for me
it’s a bunch of enemies tugging and pulling away at me,

taking parts of me and putting them where they want them to be.
Now
you smell like outside
means you smell like you made too many bad decisions last night and no one wanted to take you home so you slept in the grass

in efforts to put yourself in a place of comfort.
Outside means different things and you want this smell off of you the same way your mother did when you came in from kicking dirt and scraping knees.
You smell like outside;
You miss what that used to mean when you had a place that was worth going to.